Dear sister/ Happy Birthday

Dear Morgan,
I know it is hard, turning 18, becoming an adult and trying to find your place in the world. I’ve never wanted children and I still don’t (especially with reading my last post.) But I feel a closeness to you and I want you to know I don’t feel like a “mother” figure to you or even a sister at times. You are my best friend.
I do know at some level what you are feeling. We will both feel and experience things differently, but I want you to know I am always here for you. No matter who says what to you. No matter what may happen I will always love you.
You won’t be a failure. Things take time. You will be great at whatever you decide. This message is for you to know you are not alone. Believe that it will be okay.
You are beautiful and special. Believe it.
I love you with everything I have.
Your sister

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Not wanting to get married or have children is really okay.

Hello All,
I hope you all had a great weekend and welcome to another work week.
This week I got to cover our local fair’s cheerleading competition and most importantly, I spent time with one of my best friends. My friend is getting married in about three months and I cannot be happier for her.
It’s just crazy that it was only yesterday we would spend the night at one or the other’s house and talked about whatever teenage girls talk about. We have known each other for 12 years. It is longer than both of our personal relationships, combined. I am happy I have this one person that I can share pretty much every life experience. It is a wonderful thing.
Helping stuff envelopes and deciding what songs to play I realize my decision that I have had since high school about starting a family has not changed. I adore my friend’s relationship and how happy she is, but I can’t wrap my head around how much people pay for weddings and trying to make so many people happy. I don’t spend time thinking about what other’s think, not anymore. It is too much a waste of time.
I love the guy I’m with, don’t get me wrong we have our hardships just like anyone and we don’t need to get married to do so. I’m very independent in the fact that I don’t need one person to depend on. Marriage is not high on my list.
My friend is so happy with the guy she has and I’m happy for her. They make a perfect pair and I don’t think I would have anyone else be the guy she has chosen.
The desire to have children is non-existent in my mine. There are a lot of woman out there writing about this topic exactly and I condone them, especially with reading the comments they receive. One writer, Alden Wicker just wrote about this topic last week 5 Reasons I Never Want to Have Kids.

The reasons Wicker talks about are formed to her life and beliefs and I can completely get behind these reasons.

Among the reasons Wicker talks about were:

1. All of our environmental problems could be mitigated if there were fewer people on this planet.
2. I cannot protect my kids from the effects of climate change.
3. There are still parts of the world I want to see before they disappear.
4. I’d rather spend my money on charity, organic foods, and eco-friendly fashion.

And, as I see it, the most important…

5. Because I don’t have to.

I too have a lot of travel plans I have in the works that I hope to one day fulfill, and I’m not taking these reasons as my own, but here is a likeminded person and I would just like to hightlight the thoughts that are so important for woman now.
My guy and I talked about having, or rather not having, children from the very beginning. It is important to have this talk and find those people around us that at least respect us for our thoughts and beliefs.

What makes me the most frustrated about this topic is that there are always those people that say “You’ll change your mind,” “Well, I didn’t want kids at your age, but when I had ‘so-and-so’ it changed my life.”

That is great, for you.

I guess that makes me selfish.

I decided to not have children. I decided to spend my time in a more meaningful way. I decided to. I.

But I digress. I am so happy for my friend and the wedding is going to look wonderful. She will be getting hitched down in southern Ohio in Hocking Hills in October where the leaves are changing.

As always, thanks for letting me take the time and reading.

NLW