2017…

Well 2016 is over and its been the first week of 2017. Last year was a very long year in so many ways. The election, country unrest, terrorist attacks, iconic celebrity deaths and everything in between. Many people are glad that 2016 is over, but there are so many aspects of the next year and next three years that we need to not over look.

Last year had its devastating upsets, but it was a good year in that people were brought to the forefront of what is really wrong with this world and forced to become a part in something everyone will remember. I don’t want to make this a political post, but everyone who knows what is going on will understand.

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Last year for me personally was a year of really trying to get to know where I want to go as a person, as a friend, and in my career. I don’t do new years resolutions, but I feel it is important to just try to reevaluate yourself for the next year. It is a new chapter in our lives and it is important to learn from the past year. I have created a list of 17 things to think about and try to put in place in my life (in no particular order).

I. I want to be more conscious of what is going on in the world around me and not look away.

II. I want to be more involved with friends and not flake away.

III. I want to write more for my enjoyment.

IV. I want to update my blog more often with better content of what really matters to me.

V. I want to finish the stories I have been working the last year.

VI. I want to, overall, finish what I’ve started.

VII. I want to be a more open person.

VIII. I want to be creative in different ways.

IX. I want to be more present at work.

X. I want to not take what I do have for granted.

XI. I want to seek out new challenges for myself and to grow.

XII. I want to read more. More with quality.

XIII. I want to just live and have fun.

XIV. I want to travel more to places I haven’t been.

XV. I want to be more financially secure and be more responsible with my money.

XVI. I want to be more organized in my personal life and in my home.

XVII. I just want to become more impassioned with what means the most to me and fulfill that passion and work towards bettering myself, the people around me and the world.

Simply yours,

Nicole ❤

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My best friends live in the radio 

I grew up as a lonely child. I had a few friends and family around me, but loneliness would keep setting in. My solace, my place where I would go and live was held within the radio, on screen and in my headphones.
My allowance would be spent buying CDs and anything regarding music. Now, before going further, I am not very musically inclined myself. I’ve tried my hand at songwriting and playing a little guitar.

But feeling someone else’s songs has been what keeps me above water. Music is an emotional, universal language that speaks to the hearts and minds of all.

There are so many artists I adore that I can’t really tell you who I like the most or what is my favorite song.

What prompted this post is the many losses the music community has gone through this year. Many if not all have had some impact in my life.

I can tell you the first time I heard Prince, really heard him. As a teenager, going through the changes young women face it is hard in anyone. When I really fell in love with Prince I was watching Purple Rain with my cousin. We both were young women trying to figure out life. We, and still do, feel like we knew it all. Hearing the song “Purple Rain” was defining for me in that the song is just beautiful on the outside and mix that with the fantastic guitar work from Prince and the vocals takes it to a whole other universe. The song opened Prince up to me and really gave me an outlet. Each song spoke to me when I needed it most. 

Who also spoke to me during the same time frame was the masterful David Bowie. Bowie was that chameleon, androgynous figure parents hated. Which definitely fueled the reason why we as teens flocked to him. His music, “Heroes,” “Changes,” “Suffragette City,” “Panic In Detroit,” “Rebel Rebel,” and the like fueled my search of who I am right now. He made it okay to be different, to stand up for whatever you deem is not right.


(My favorite tattoo, if you don’t understand then you don’t deserve to.)

There are so many songs I’ve related to over the years and there are songs that are just there to make you feel good and let it all go. 

Music is life to me, whether I’m walking the mountains of Kashmir with Led Zeppelin, standing in the rain with John Cusack and Peter Gabriel, listening to the blues with B.B. King or putting my feet up after a hard day’s night with The Beatles: music will and always be there for me when life gets a little too rough. 

This post is just to help me grieve. I’ve never met them, but deep down they are in my heart and have been the best teachers I’ve ever had.

Rock on and just never stop playing the music.

Simply yours,

Nicole

P.s. Rest In Peace George Michael, we will all have faith.

Who I look up to

Amelia Bloomer 

Gloria Steinem

Amelia Earhart 

Susan B. Anthony

Mary Wollstonecraft 

Simone de Beauvoir 

Alice Paul

Lucy stone 

Carrie Chapman Catt

Betty Friedman

Madam cj walker, 

Sojourner Truth

Elizabeth Stanton

The Suffragettes

Hillary Clinton

Victoria Woodall

Marlene Dietrich 

Coco Chanel

Rosie the Riveter

Eva peron 

Bell hooks 

Barbara Walters

Yoko ono 

Coretta Scott King

Maya Angelou 

Diane von Furstenberg

Oprah Winfrey

Madonna

Ellen Page

Ashley Judd

Angelina jolie

Sheryl Sandberg 

Lena Dunham

Jenni Konner

Olivia Wilde

Malala Yousafzai

Beyoncé

Emma Watson

Sarah Silverman

Lady Gaga

Chelsea Handler

Emmeline Pankhurst

Virginia Woolf

Doris Lessing

Lily Tomlin

Jane Fonda

Dolly Parton

Louisa May Alcott

Dorthy Parker

Nawal El Saadawi

Margaret Fuller 

Germaine Greer 

Naomi Wolf

Frida Kahlo

Alice Walker

Rebecca West

Aung San Suu Kyi 

Margaret Atwood

Linda Bellos

Andrea Dworkin

Emma Goldwin 

Shannen Doherty

Alyssa Milano

RBG

Chelsea Handler

Michelle Obama

Pauli Murray

Katherine Hepburn 

Pussy Riot

Julie Burchill

Caitlin Moran

Erin Pizzey

Christine de Pizan 

Margaret Sanger

Marilyn French

Josephine Butler 

Taslima Nasrin

Barbara Castle 

Eleanor Rathborn

Marie Stopes

Sylvia Plath

Margaret Thatcher 

Elizabeth Garrett Anderson

Susan Faludi

Betty White

Megyn Kelly

Robin Roberts

Lizzy Hale

Chelsea Clinton

Carol Burnet

Cher

#BitchesbackinBitches #NastyWomen 

There are more and more women everyday that need our support.

#WhyIWrite

So for this post I actually had planned a long rant about the impending “illection,” but who really wants to hear anymore about that. By now we have our opinions of who we want to vote, there really isn’t anything else to be said. There will be more said in the media and we will be subjected to political campaigns. So I won’t go into that much pain.

As I was scrolling through my Instagram feed, I saw it was the eighth annual National Day on Writing. My job is writing, when I’m frustrated I write, when I feel creative I write, when I want to send someone “well-wishes” I write. Posting to social media requires a capturing caption to any photo or link.

Writing is my way of dealing with life. If I’m not writing, I’m reading or watching one of my many favorite shows on Netflix/Hulu. These all require writing. Is the writing the attracts me to conversations, plots, characterization.

Writing is a creative outlet, one that I try my hand at. Like most, I don’t share my personal work with many. Its a way of dealing with my own personal hang-ups. Over the last four years I have been struggling with anxiety more and more. I know I’ve dealt with it throughout high school and these last few years and months I’ve been more and more struck with its power.

When I’m not at work or with my mom and sister, I’m home. I don’t like going places, in fact I’m sorry in advance, I tend to agree and cancel plans. Yes, I’ve done this with my own family. I’ve grown inward and I don’t like it, but I don’t see an end.

When I’m alone I stress about what I could have done better or different. That takes up about two-three hours off and on. When I’m alone I overthink about the next day, another two-three hours off and on. Here comes reading and television. I need distractions or my mind will control me and I make myself sick over and over again.

This overflows to my personal life. I know my family and friends struggle with me and put up with me and I over think myself not being fair to them and that is unending. Even as I write this I’m overthinking should I say some of these things? Its the truth and the truth, more than anything needs to be shared in this world.

This is #WhyIWrite. It is a way to just push my thoughts aside and get some clarity. Characters I create deal with similar issues of mine so that I can put them in scenarios and see their outcome. It’s clearer.

I have a sense of power that I don’t have. Writing is important with this fast paced world we live in. So many things depend on communication to function. I’m a quiet person and I don’t like small talk. I hate it when people tell me “it will be okay,” “don’t worry about it,” “it is nothing you can control.” My mind knows this. Believe me. I know. People complaining, yes that effects me too. Even if it is not my problem I take it in and that negativity works its way to my inner issues and grows further.

The weekends when I have some semblance of peace, there isn’t too much. Because it is then I have to deal with all the work I’ve neglected, such as cleaning and organizing. This doesn’t always get done because the mountain I must climb during the week is exhausting and so I take a day. I put off things I even want to do and these never get completed.

I read inspirational things about anxiety and feel that it is not that mounting, until the next wave comes and I’m swept under.

Yeah, I could go on and on and even this now has turned daunting. I didn’t want to make this some whiny-o-woe-is-me piece. And yes there are some positives to being overly critical. I feel I have a unique perspective and I take a closer look at what I am given and take my time working out problems and conversations.

I urge those to just write it out. Even if it isn’t for an audience. The words that you’re thinking can be erased and they are just gone. I write what I feel and I just erase it. It’s gone like it was never there. Not always does this work, but it is a band-aid.

Well, anyway. That is #WhyIWrite. Therapy. Conversation. Work. Creativity. Self-expression.

As always, thanks for reading.

Simply yours,

Nicole

  • This post has been edited because of overthinking ❤

Sorry I’ve been away…

I know it’s been quite a while since I’ve written. About four months in fact – yikes!
Here is what I’ve been up to and what I hope to accomplish as we enter into my favorite season, Fall!
I love fall. The crispness in the air, the pumpkin, apple, cinnamon, spice, everything! Halloween, the autumn equinox, the change in day. Everything about fall is simply wonderful.
Here is how I’ve decorated!

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(all items purchased at Pat Catan’s)

I’ve added to my family. Misty has gotten a new kitty-sister.
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Here is Mera! Named after Aquaman’s wife. She’s beautiful and a handful, but I love her. I love how cats have their own personalities.

I haven’t been able to travel very much this summer as I usually do, but we’ve taken some small trips close to home in Ohio. Living here my whole life, I’ve always felt Ohio isn’t much, but recently I’ve come across some of the most charming small towns. Just this week my mom and sister took a trip to a small town two-hours away from my home in Northwest Ohio, Yellow Springs. This town is like taking a trip back in time. It is sort of an artist colony that is just the epitome of what the 60’s-70’s era was. The people in all the small, quaint shops where so friendly and it was just a pleasure to be there. We even seen people walking around with no shoes. It may not sound as weird, but coming from a town where that doesn’t happen, it isn’t an every day occurrence.
Here are some photos from our trip…


And yes of course we got to see the Yellow Springs the town is named after!
I especially loved the Spirited Goat Coffee House and Kismet, a small boutique with my favorite vintage clothing. Here are some finds I couldn’t leave without!!


My mom and sister and I also got the chance to visit the Marion Popcorn Festival, one of the largest popcorn festivals in the country. There we got to see one of our favorite artists, Kellie Pickler.
Her show is always amazing and funny. She is so down to earth!
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I’ve been trying to deal with a lot of personal issues of my own the last few months and realized that by hiding myself away in my own turmoil, I can’t be who I am searching to be. Things didn’t pan out in some cases, but I feel that change in me that is needed to be fulfilled and I’m working on that.
I’ve taken on the challenge of becoming a vegan. I’ve been a vegetarian for over a year and its made me more aware of what we eat and all the processed foods that we put on our body. I’ve even found vegan wine, so how can it be bad 
I plan to share some of my favorite recipes at a later time!
I don’t want to ramble on too much. This is just an update on where I am at right now to get to the point where I want this platform to become.
Take care of each other, we have one life and we can’t spend it all just hurting our neighbors, our brothers and sisters.

Thanks for reading!

Simply yours,

Nicole ❤

Well, Now You Know Me

Well, now you know me

I struggle with opening up, well here are some general thoughts about me. So, I guess now you know me.

–          I’m 27, even though those who know me will tell you I have the soul of a 57 year old

–          I was born in the middle of winter

–          I prefer the cold over the heat.

–          The blues is my favorite genera of music.

–          My favorite bands are Led Zeppelin and The Beatles.

–          My favorite color is blue-green-purple

–          I’m indecisive in every decision I make.

–          I will watch a horror-action-thriller over any romantic comedy (anything with Jason Statham, Will Smith, or Liam Neeson kicking butt will do it)

–          I watch romantic comedies alone J

–          I watch Friends every night before I go to sleep.

–          I don’t have many friends, I keep it that way.

–          I use humor as a defense mechanism. I should have been a comic.

–          I love owls, in fact I love all animals over humans.

–          My sister is my best friend, but it wasn’t always that way.

–          I love my boyfriend very much, but he’ll tell you I love my cat Misty more than him J

–          I will take a camping trip or cabin in the woods over the beach any day.

–          I love Disney World.

–          I identify as agnostic, that is all the further I will go with that.

–          I don’t talk about religion or politics

–          I will be moving to Canada if Trump is elected president

–          I will cry more if an animal dies in a move than a human being. Or during any soldier coming home video

–          I should go see and talk to a therapist about my childhood

–          I am a true feminist in that I believe in equality for EVERYONE

–          I love boots

–          I wish I could just live in a Volkswagen bus and travel the world

–          There is nothing better than a good book and bottle of wine

–          I don’t care what other people think of me

–          No one will ever really understand the situation you are going through, even though they will try

–          I feel like a chameleon with everyone’s emotions

–          I don’t like talking, which doesn’t mean I don’t have anything to say

–          I hated high school and wish to never to go a reunion

–          I will eat a whole pack of Golden Oreos if left to my own devices

–          I get bored very easily

–          I’ve always struggled with liking myself

–          I haven’t talked to my father in over eight years

–          I love the thought of space

–          I worry about everything, especially things that are not in my control

–          My favorite drink is a screwdriver

–          I’ve enjoyed doing yoga, even though I don’t practice it as often as I should

–          I’m obsessed with anything true crime

–          I think about death, not in a suicidal way

–          I pride myself on being honest, don’t ask me if you don’t want to know

–          I hate cleaning the bathroom

–          I may love my cat more than my boyfriend J

–          Zooey Deschanel is my spirt animal

–          I follow too many cats on Instagram

–          “Oh, the places you’ll go” is probably the best book by far

–          I have four tattoos and six ear piercings

–          I say I want to grow my hair out but will turn around the next week and cut it

–          Some days it takes me a lot time to get myself to get out of bed

–          I know there is more out there for me to do

–          I wish I had done what I wanted to do with my life and not listened to those who told me not to

–          I was not a planned baby, but I have a feeling I was meant to be here for a higher purpose.

–          I’m still in search of that purpose

This list is just the surface. In fact, it may be superficial, but it goes deeper. Have questions, please just ask.

Thanks for listening,

As always,

Simply,

Nicole

This week I turned 27

The years are going by and I’m feeling less and less scared…

You read about when women (especially women) turn 30 they feel more alive and less scared of the 20 something person they were. I’ve realized that being in my 20’s is probably one of the biggest obstacles you as a woman have to face.

Everything you thing will change. Everything you do now will not be part of your life anymore. You will have to grow up, but in a good way.

I didn’t want to turn 25 because my mother decided to freak me out and tell me that turning 25 was a quarter of your life gone.

With that little note of confidence, I began ultimate panic mode and thought, where is this life I’ve created going? What do I have to show for myself? Well, I don’t have a whole lot except I’m one of the few who actually uses their degree everyday. I have a career I can at times be proud of. I get to meet knew people in a small-Ohio town and learn new things everyday.

I’m surrounded by good people and I wouldn’t want it any other way.

There are many things that I would like to accomplish and I’m working on them. It takes time and I have to get used to that.

I’ve been volunteering my time to my community through our local art guild and it has been a wonderful, challenging experience.

This month I have also accomplished being vegetarian/vegan for a full year. It probably has been one of the best decisions I’ve made. I feel better and it has been a personal challenge of mine and I knock off my list. I want to take the next challenge and become full vegan and I feel I can I’m just starting slow. My main concern is not the fact I’ve ate cheese and drank milk for years its more of the financial restrictions I have for my monthly budgets but I’ve found some great recipes and great sites that make it very affordable. (More about this specifically later)

I’ve come to realize it is the life you make not life that makes you. That fact is hard and it has taken a long time for me to come to terms with it. I still don’t feel like I’m fully there either. Don’t be discouraged. Keep Smiling.

Simply yours,

Nicole